I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
