I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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