I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize