in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize