Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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