You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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