i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
