"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
