I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
