I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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