Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize