bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the day after is always just damage control
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Randomize