I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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