so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
