What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
