im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
