There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
