I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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