i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
