bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
