sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
