just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
