so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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