I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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