And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
