so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
