I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
