last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
