drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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