talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
