I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
