You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Houston, we have a squirter
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
