wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
