nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
