sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
