This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
