what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
