you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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