yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
