I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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