so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
