It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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