I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
