You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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