Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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