i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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