what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
God, I missed his penis.
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