you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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