Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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