it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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