so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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