my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
