That's intense
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize