the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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