Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
