I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
