I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
