god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
