nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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