Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she told me i tasted like america
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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