I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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