Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
