I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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